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New therapy clients often want the best therapist, with the least cost, close to their job, an evening appointment, but not too late, and a person who expresses perfect compassion, but not too syrupy. Hey, you might be asking for too much. A senior therapist with a nice office is going to cost you. A good therapy will result in your improved career and financial status. In the long run, it will pay for itself. Sometimes the quality you don't like in the therapist, or anybody for that matter, is the exact issue you have to deal with in yourself. Life gets in your face like that.

1. You can communicate well with each other
2. The therapist understands your experiences
3. You are able to keep appointments
4. The therapist can be empathic to you
5. You are able to share feelings with the therapist
6. The therapist has a knowledge base that meets your needs
7. You are able to tolerate looking more closely at issues
8. The therapist's style and your personality match

Remember that the therapy relationship mirrors your previous relationships. If you feel awkward when you first meet people, feel that people won't like you or worry that they really can't be trusted, you will feel that way at the beginning of your therapy relationship.

Likewise, if you feel an immediate closeness to new friends and then later want to back away from them, that will also happen in the therapy relationship. The therapy happens when you reveal these feelings and thoughts and discuss them with the therapist, to uncover the reason they occur. It's hard & sometimes a little scary, but results in more confidence  and more control.      

The key to a successful therapy is trust. Your "hurt self" may show you all the reasons not to trust your therapist, but unless you happen to find a bad therapist, hang in there through a couple of "therapy crises". Watch how you will develop new skills and confidence. You'll be glad you did.                                                                Back to top